Reprogramming Your Mindset: How Hard Is It?
In 2015, I was already on my way to building a nice real estate investment portfolio when I came across one of my now favorite books — Creating Wealth — by Robert G. Allen, in which he repeatedly says that wealth is, in fact, a mindset. I needed a few more years to realize that this statement had been true for me all along (and outside of the realm of money, too).
It's just that some of the simplest concepts have an unfortunate yet fascinating tendency to remain secrets to the majority of people, oftentimes over their entire lifespans. It is easy for me now to assert that every major success I’ve scored in my life happened only after some assiduous reprogramming of certain belief systems on my part; but how much easier could it have been to get to my desired destinations had I chosen to start each “journey” with an eager, reprogrammed mindset already in place, prior to delving into the actual problems that needed solutions? I could have had a much clearer vision of these solutions and could have acquired the craved results with less effort and fewer sleepless nights.
It takes time to first find out and then acknowledge that the bulk part of our belief systems is based on false assumptions. It’s not that we don’t know stuff — we most definitely do! But what we know proves itself, time and again, not to be so by repeatedly not working so well for us! Yet, rarely do we pay attention to what’s really going on around us, much less within us.
As someone who struggled for years getting through a belief system that was largely inaccurate, I am the first to admit that this was the hardest notion for me to pursue early on: the reprogramming of my belief system. In the first few years of my personal and professional transformative exploits, it was hardly even an option because, somehow, it always seemed to evade my mental grasp. I subsequently have come to believe this reluctance to internalize the need for self-reprogramming was due to a very real fear of facing my own self-deceptions and false internal narratives — a fear that at times bordered repulsion.
Wise people manage to get to this realization before they begin a desired transformation process. Regretfully, I did not belong in that group when I started my quest for a better life. The good news is, I’m writing this to let you know, yet again that, if I could do it, so can you! No, really, you can! Because, I can assure you, I was really stuck in ways of thinking so pervasive in my mind that my thought routines blocked without much delay any hopes, anticipations, or high expectations of success in the areas where I wished it the most and for many years. Don’t get me wrong: I always worked hard on achieving my goals while living in a stuck mindset of my own doing, a frame of mind choosing to only believe negativity experts who liked perceiving themselves as realists. Were they true realists or simply individuals with narrow viewpoints that they were adept at impressing on younger, advice-thirsty people through a complex, intricate vocabulary disguised as experience? If you are a person yearning for a better life, how willing are you to recalibrate your belief system and learn to cope with the feeling that you’re starting from scratch? This feeling will revisit you on more than one occasion, especially if you intend to boost the quality of your life on multiple levels, which I surely hope you’re considering while reading this blog post.
I came across this challenge several times between the ages of 25 and 40, and each and every time I resolved to start from scratch, it seemed impossible at first. Until I actually started. From scratch. And then, piece by piece, day by day, things were no longer impossible! I’ll be happy to provide some examples for you. I’ve also discussed these in detail in my book It Really Is Simple: A Holistic Approach to Self-Confidence:
I saw a need to reverse my belief that there was little hope for me to prosper anywhere outside of music since I hadn’t become a stellar violinist after earning a bachelor’s, a master’s, and a doctoral degree in music over the course of 11 years, in addition to the 13 years of preparation prior to even beginning my work on these degrees.
I then had to reprogram my brain to stop believing that giving up on something I had worked on for 26 years and learning something completely different to give myself another chance in life was a shameful and defeatist decision. After all, everyone I knew up to that point was a musician or some kind of a music-related professional. What would they think or say, right?
Next, I had to come to terms with my doubts in my ability to comprehend science and numbers, remember complex terminology, and live on 3-5 hours of sleep a day for at least two, possibly three years. The thing is, I tend to do poorly when I am underslept, especially if systematically so, and the near future at the time clearly indicated that I would, indeed, be systematically sleep-deprived for a while. I was 32 years old and, in all my wisdom, thought I was too old until I met my new classmates, some of whom were in their late forties and early fifties with three, four, or five children still dependent on them financially. These people unknowingly made me understand what a complete idiot I had been for indulging the thought process I just described.
Once I entered the workforce as a registered nurse, disillusionment with the healthcare system’s main priorities came without much of a warning. Well, it took a couple of years, but that was about it, so yet another belief system had thus to be abolished. That wasn’t as hard, because the evidence of American healthcare being all about disease management and seldom, if ever, about striving towards disease reversal and promoting true health was overwhelming everywhere I turned. It’s not something you can ignore unless you’re completely blind and deaf — a matter of choice, of course.
Another belief system reversal took place when I chose to become financially literate and begin investing. It may be hard for some readers to understand why this was a big deal for me in 2012. Suffice it to say that the idea that “big money” was beyond the reach of people like me or my family had been programmed for over 25 years through three generations, with its roots reaching deeply into my mind and heart by my mid-thirties. That’s where I had to perform some of my most serious soul-searching, having already overcome so many seemingly impossible challenges only to find myself struggling day and night with such a basic personal-choice, self-discipline, and accountability concept. Always back to the humbling basics! This time, it was about perspective, clear vision, and a mission beyond my own immediate necessities.
You’ve got to trust your gut when confronted with beliefs that are limiting to your personal growth and progress! You must question these beliefs and track them to their very origins, as far back as you can remember, sometimes to a time before you were even born. I know you can recall at least some of your closest family members’ motives for instilling such beliefs in you. Question these motives, because they likely have little to do with your present reality or opportunities. Depending on how early or late in your life you were able to physically detach yourself from those influences might determine how long it would take you to also distance yourself mentally and emotionally from them. This second part of detachment is more susceptible to your control, which is the positive side of the problem, but it also comes with more responsibility as there’s no one left to blame. The sooner you stop blaming those who influenced you in ways that eventually proved unfavorable to your current aspirations, the faster and more effectively you’ll be able to move on and focus on the things of real importance to you once you succeed in finding out what it is that matters most in the first place. Expect that this finding, too, might necessitate proper detachment from established belief systems that are no longer doing justice to your future endeavors and outcomes if you’re really serious about completely changing your life and rediscovering yourself of your own accord!